Feeling a bit Monkish?

One of my favorite shows on TV is Monk, staring Tony Shalhoub. I like this show in part because the star is an Arab-American, but I like it mostly because the character exhibits certain tendencies that remind me of myself. Ironically Tony himself claims that he is nothing like the character he plays on TV. People often joke with me about the fact that I have undiagnosed borderline Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). When this first started happening I used to get embarrassed. Nowadays though I wear this label like a badge of honor :), thanks in part to Monk and his antics. This behavior, like many, is a double edged sword. It has its positives and negatives. Often times the positive versus the negative points are in the eyes of the beholder. I will say that in my case, I believe that my "Monkishness" level is increased whenever my stress level increases. Conversely, my "OCDness" is decreased when my stress levels are lower. Consider a comparison of the following behaviors:

Ordinary Behaviors or Extraordinary Behaviors (which statement would you select?)

• Working to maintain a neat and tidy house or an inability to sleep if your shoes are not neatly aligned in the closet.
• Remembering where you generally put personal items such as wallet, keys, rings, etc...… or
  placing your personal items in a specific room, in a location, and in the same position all the time.
• Turning your TV off when you decide you are no longer interested in watching it or turning your TV to a specific channel and volume level before you turn it off.
• Pulling your trash bin up to the curb on trash day or after pulling your trash bin up to the curb, linking it in a specific way with the road and driveway.
• Hanging your clothes in your closet after they are cleaned or hanging your clothes in the closet based on priority and a formal-informal range.
• Having clean towels handy for times after washing hands or hanging the towels in the same way, all the time.
• Having clean socks and T-shirts handy when they are needed or rotating your socks and T-shirts so that they wear out all at the same time.
• Lifting the flag on the mailbox so that the mailman knows you have outgoing mail or arranging outgoing mail in the mailbox with largest envelops on bottom and smallest on top.
• Spellchecking documents before you send out for review by others or making sure that all your documents are fully justified.
• Stocking up on specific fruits and vegetables at the grocery store when you are out of them or buying specific numbers of fruits and vegetables at a time (i.e. 7 apples, 5 cucumbers, 3 pears).

* NOTE: If you find yourself gravitating toward the second statement of each of these items them you probably suffer from some Monkishness.

Oddly enough for those of you who might begin to worry about me, there are signs of hope that I am probably not exactly completely OCD. To make my case with you, here are some specifics:

• I often have typos in emails and documents I send to friends and colleagues.
• My OCD behavior is primarily a "Line of Sight" issue. If a closet or a drawer that is out of my sight is completely in disarray it does not bother me.
• I generally do not care in the least if other people's homes are a total mess. In fact, in college I had a room mate that was very messy. I simply told him that there is an imaginary line that runs in the middle of the room. He could do whatever he wished on his side and he was forbidden to cross the line into mine.
• I really don't care about cleanliness nearly to the degree that I care about neatness. I can live with dirt as long as it is neatly piled. What I find hilarious is the fact that my wife is a clean freak so it is a very complementary relationship that results in a neat/clean house.
• I have become considerably less irritable with extended family visitors who are not nearly as neat as I am in support of greater harmony.

By now you might be wondering how on earth this might be related to fatherhood. All I can say is that as you begin noticing your children's development, you will find that some may begin to exhibit behaviors similar to yours. In our case, some of my behaviors are clearly shared with ButterBean, who will run around behind everyone tidying everything. JooJooBean on the other hand is very interested in cleaning. JuniorBean is oblivious to both and is purely interested in creating messes for his sisters to clean up!

Peace